Pastor's Blog

Hummm...WHACK!

2011-03-10T13:18:00.000-08:00

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,

Nor stands in the way of sinners,

Nor sits in the seat of scoffers;

But his delight is in the law of the Lord,

And on his law he meditates day and night.

Psalm 1

I was meditating on these verses today, or trying to meditate, or trying to try…you get the point. The point is it’s hard to meditate. Hard to focus. It’s hard to make the mind travel a single path and not wander down every fork in the road. I double back on myself, I repeat, I say the same thing again, I repeat, and I double back on myself. And here’s that fork again, where was I? Oh yeah, meditate.

I want the blessing. And I understand the blessing. There are so many ready to counsel us right into the worse decisions we ever made, ready to take advantage, ready to tell us we’ll never succeed. Just when you were focused, they offer you a different path of discouragement and promises of failure. If you’ve not met these people, believe me that you are blessed. But you’ve probably met these people…most likely you just came from one of those meetings. And they’ve dragged you down, making you feel unblessed. The feeling is hard to mistake and even harder to discard. Meditate on God’s law, and there they are. Walk, sit, stand…there they are.

As I was meditating on these verses I had a vision. A vision of moles. Whack-a-mole to be most accurate. My meditating thoughts bounced in and out of prayer, in and out of my conscience, and my waking self wanted that giant mallet to take control again. Beat back the scoffers, the sinners, the wicked thoughts. I wanted to meditate on the blessing, but the moles just keep popping up. And so I started looking for my mallet and…I found it.

I started thinking not just on the Law, but on its promises. I started thinking on the promises that God gave me, not just of my crimes against that Law. God is working something in me, he promised me that. “If [I] confess [my] sins, he is faithful and just to forgive [me my] sins and to cleanse [me] from all unrighteousness.” (I John 1:9) Where I fall short of the mark, even in my focus, God has brought something new in me. He picks up a big mallet and plays the game for me. And He’s really good at it. “Did [I] presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead [me] to repentance.” (Rom. 2:4) Repentance…Changing the way that I think. While even in my meditation, God has a renewing power. To think on Christ and his perfection, and the Grace he offers me.

The Grace of God is a power unlike any other. God uses this unexpected tool to open up a world to me that I never deserved. I didn’t deserve the blessing. “For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.” (Rom 8:3)

So we have a delight today that Christ has acted for us. And the wicked, and the sinners, and the scoffers can’t get us down. My delight is in the Law of the Lord, And my Salvation is in Grace. My delight is in Jesus Christ, And the blessing for me is real. Now that I can think about. HUMMM…WHACK!

Happy Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T11:56:00.000-08:00

A Love Story
And when the sixth hour had come, there was darkness over the whole land until the ninth hour.And at the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?" which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" And some of the bystanders hearing it said, "Behold, he is calling Elijah." And someone ran and filled a sponge with sour wine, put it on a reed and gave it to him to drink, saying, "Wait, let us see whether Elijah will come to take him down." And Jesus uttered a loud cry and breathed his last. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom. And when the centurion, who stood facing him, saw that in this way he breathed his last, he said, "Truly this man was the Son of God!" (Mark 15:33-39)

Know today how much you are loved!

Humbled

2011-02-11T10:37:00.000-08:00

John 13
18 “I am not referring to all of you; I know those I have chosen. But this is to fulfill this passage of Scripture: ‘He who shared my bread has turned against me.’ 19 “I am telling you now before it happens, so that when it does happen you will believe that I am who I am. 20 Very truly I tell you, whoever accepts anyone I send accepts me; and whoever accepts me accepts the one who sent me.” 21 After he had said this, Jesus was troubled in spirit and testified, “Very truly I tell you, one of you is going to betray me.” 22 His disciples stared at one another, at a loss to know which of them he meant. 23One of them, the disciple whom Jesus loved, was reclining next to him. 24Simon Peter motioned to this disciple and said, “Ask him which one he means.” 25 Leaning back against Jesus, he asked him, “Lord, who is it?” 26Jesus answered, “It is the one to whom I will give this piece of bread when I have dipped it in the dish.” Then, dipping the piece of bread, he gave it to Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot. 27 As soon as Judas took the bread, Satan entered into him. So Jesus told him, “What you are about to do, do quickly.” 28 But no one at the meal understood why Jesus said this to him. 29 Since Judas had charge of the money, some thought Jesus was telling him to buy what was needed for the festival, or to give something to the poor. 30 As soon as Judas had taken the bread, he went out. And it was night.

Scholars are baffled by this passage. More they are baffled by Judas. I think we are all baffled by Satan for the same reason. How can one so close to God, betray him? How can someone in the midst of the light, seek out darkness?

I was sitting at the corner of a busy intersection yesterday watching people go by. I usually watch the cars, but I was straining to see who was in the cars. Women, men, children in the back seat, undisclosed shapes behind tented windows. I did not see anyone I knew. Then I thought how God knows them all. It was very overwhelming, just thinking of the people at that intersection.

God knows us each and every one so well. He made us and he shaped us. He gives us good gifts of Joy and food and celebrations and Life (Acts14). And even in this story, as Judas is planning to betray Jesus, Jesus is serving him food and washing his feet. I am preaching this week on the surrounding context of Service, and Jesus’ example. Yet there is this passage in between that is so complicated. There is not enough time to dwell on Judas’ actions, or Satan’s actions, on Sunday. It is enough to look at Jesus’ example. I only have forty minutes or so. But how can they, being so close to Jesus Christ, God’s Son, Savior, Lord of Lords, King of Kings, The Light, choose to dwell in darkness?

I have always believed that faith would be easier if I met God face to face. Sure, I might not last on my feet for more than a few seconds. Sure, I might fall down and weep. Sure, no one in scripture is anything by humbled in front of God. But I have always assumed I would choose that humbling. But then I look at Judas, and I see that in the midst of God he was drawn to darkness. He chose to sell out, literally, and take the silver over the Son of God. The light shown on him, and he rejected it.

And I end on this. This week, did I take the silver too? Was I drawn to light, or did I sit in darkness? Where did my thoughts dwell? If it is so easy to believe when one is in the presence of God, did I seek out God’s presence in prayer and worship, or was I drawn in other directions? In the sermon, it’s going to be so easy to say “Look at Christ and his example of service”, but I am glad I don’t have to dwell on Judas. It is an unsavory deed, to look into the thoughts of human heart, of my human heart.

Romans 8:1-2 “There is, therefore, now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, for the Law of the Spirit of Life has set them free from the Law of Sin and of Death.”

I John 1:7 “If we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his son cleanses us from all sin.”

Down

2011-02-04T09:45:00.000-08:00

Down days, snow days, days with nothing to do. Couped up, stood up, all alone with coffee and thoughts and wants of something to pull us up, up to the world of important deadlines. Desires of the mad screams of a boss to pick up the pace or else, but there is no pace and nothing else to bring us up. We are down. All the things that I would love to get away to now suddenly at my disposal, and all of them are disposed from my options in my downness.

After a week of three snowdays, a foot of snow or just less came down, I finally had to get out. I went for a run last night. My neighbor called me crazy. Maybe, but I had to get out. I didn't run far, but I was exhilerated. I was up. And while I was up I had a thought. I do my best thinking while I'm moving. My thought, "I am a fighter." I need a battle. I need the mad boss, the tight schedule, the impossible, the lurking failure just around the corner to bring me up. I don't want to go running in nice weather, but the coldest day of the year makes sense to me.

And then I realized this illustrates my relationship with God so well, though I don't like the outcome. I want to be the fighter. I want to conquer. But I can't. My battle is with sin. I can't win it. My judgment is from God and I can't fight Him either. And if I throw myself at it or Him I will certainly end in death. And living in this place of struggle has been so normal for so long. I don't want to be down. How do I get up?

So how about someothing new...

³⁶ As it is written:
   “For your sake we face death all day long;
   we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”
³⁷ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8)

I'm putting down the old gloves and picking up the new.  I'm picking up the new call of love. Let's fight together for the Love of a Savior. Can this love pick me up? Pick me up to fight for life? Fight for my community? Can I put my thoughts on things above, on heavenly things? No longer will we be down. Now let's go do something so bold that our neighbors will call us all Crazy.

Community Table

2011-01-24T10:49:00.000-08:00

I had some friends help me carry a table into my house the other night. My wife and I finally grew up and bought a real table. Our family of six won't fit around the cheap old one any more. But I'm so glad I have friends. The friends are close enought they will probably eat around the table soon anyway. And it makes me think how great it is to have community. But this is all over a table. Remember the story from the Gospels about the friends who brought the paralytic to Jesus.

Mark 2

¹ A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. ² They gathered in such large numbers that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them. ³ Some men came, bringing to him a paralyzed man, carried by four of them. ⁴ Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus by digging through it and then lowered the mat the man was lying on. ⁵ When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralyzed man, “Son, your sins are forgiven.”
⁶ Now some teachers of the law were sitting there, thinking to themselves, ⁷ “Why does this fellow talk like that? He’s blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone?”
⁸ Immediately Jesus knew in his spirit that this was what they were thinking in their hearts, and he said to them, “Why are you thinking these things? ⁹ Which is easier: to say to this paralyzed man, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up, take your mat and walk’? ¹⁰ But I want you to know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins.” So he said to the man, ¹¹ “I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.” ¹² He got up, took his mat and walked out in full view of them all. This amazed everyone and they praised God, saying, “We have never seen anything like this!”

Does this give you any feeling that it's time we impact our community in a huge way. I started this blog to dream about the future of our community. So here we go. I have been a part of some great communities. Powerful enough to bring people to Jesus. And no, I don't think it's Allegory. I think we should bring people to the one person who has power to forgive, heal, restore, and glorify. But how is that done? How do we bring people to the Table? (Luke 14:15-28) How can you bring people to the Table?

i heart dreams

2011-01-19T11:01:00.000-08:00

Isaiah 29:8
As when a hungry man dreams he is eating
   and awakes with his hunger not satisfied,
or as when a thirsty man dreams he is drinking
   and awakes faint, with his thirst not quenched,
so shall the multitude of all the nations be
   that fight against Mount Zion.

Have you ever had a dream about someone? Someone that you love. A dream that inspires you to love them even more. To be in love. Waking up in that place where you can't forget about them. You feel yourself bursting at the seams with affection. Or sometimes the opposite. Waking up from a dream to feel yourself crying...or almost crying. Guys don't cry. Hurt in the imagination by one so close the wound lingers in real time. And the thoughts keep returning to love. To hurt. To the dream.

i have had those dreams. It's weird to me how a dream can inspire emotions that follow me all day. Sometimes its even difficult to pinpoint who the dream is about. But the feeling doesn't go away. It's deep in the heart, deeper than the mind usually dwells. The dreams carry the heart to the surface, bubbling up like magma, powerfully hot, seething to the top layer, simmering against the landscape, waking to the dullness of the old world now shattered by the new. Then i remember, it is only a dream. But this is loves power. The intangible manifested. The dream filters its way into reality for a day, perhaps to the evening, only drawing out slowly with the tide of time. And then the dream finds its place again.

I wonder if this is my place before God. What is the power of love and admiration between us? What is my role in this dream? Does it matter if i cry for Him? He is high and i am low. Does it matter if i pour out my heart into love poems and bring myself to the edge of existence. What does God think of me? Does He dream of me and then think of me all day? I feel the weight of that question. Am I as powerful as a dream?

One wiser than i said:
"How God thinks of us is not only more important, but infinitely more important. Indeed, how we think of Him is of no importance except insofar as it is related to how He thinks of us. It is written that we shall 'stand before' Him, shall appear, shall be inspected. The promise of glory is the promise, almost incredible and only possible by the work of Christ that some of us, that any of us who really chooses, shall actually survive that examination, shall find approval, shall please God. To please God...to be a real ingredient in the divine happiness...to be loved by God, not merely pitied, but delighted in as an artist delights in his work or a father in a son - it seems impossible, a weight or burden of glory which our thoughts can hardly sustain. But so it is." (C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory)

Now what I keep wondering, do i believe this in my heart, where the dreams sleep?

Love and Loss

2011-01-12T19:25:00.000-08:00

I'm speaking at a wedding in a couple of days. And I spoke at a funeral a couple of days ago. I can't help but have trouble processing these two events so close to each other. One event was a memorial for an unexpected death that tore apart a marriage of several decades. The other is the celebration of hope for a marriage to last decades. For the marriage I'm reading I Corinthians 13. It's the passage that tells us that love is patient and love is kind, it does not envy and does not boast. But near the end it says this:

For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. (vs12)

The word for "dimly" is actually the word "enigma." What we see now in the world when it comes to love is just an enigma. A riddle. A difficult question. A conundrum. It's like we are looking at love's reflection through foggy glass, and what we experience is the best we can see.

My difficulty is separating these two events in my mind: the funeral and the wedding. Unless the happy couple to be is as lucky as the old couple in Ovid's Metamorphosis, one of them will have to live without the other for some period of time. (The old couple in the tale was give one wish, and they wished to die at the same time.) Have I been a fool to miss this sad point of love for this long in my life? Or is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all?

I think the thing my mind is most drawn to is this longing for love in my life, and maybe a fear of losing it. Lewis did say that he was surprised that grief felt so much like fear. But I have a need to be loved and I have a need to give love. And it's a need. Maybe the answer to the Enigma is God himself. Maybe all the community, and family, and friends, and my wife are all ways that God is revealing my need for Love. And the funeral makes me realize that God himself will eventually have to be the source of love in all of these relationships, as his love replaces someone who is lost from the world, maybe me. Is God enough? Or do I have to outlive the world? I guess that wouldn't work either.

Up and Running

2011-01-07T10:41:00.000-08:00

I have a car that won't start. Actually I jump started it this morning for about the 5th time, and now its been running ever since. I don't know if I'm brave enough to go out and stop the thing. If it won't start I'll be stuck here at church. Everybody that comes in is asking whose car is running though.

I wonder if this says something about faith. I don't know anything about the battery...really. I don't even know if there is something else wrong or if its just the battery or both. You non-mechanics our there will know what I'm talking about. But I have no faith to stop my car engine. I have no faith in my car.

"Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." (Heb 11:1) This passage leads into the story of who God is. It tells us the history of how God has acted in the world and the history of how the faithful have trusted in God. I guess the real truth is that I cannot hope in my car. It has let me down. I can take my chances, but hope has no assurance. The question for me now is, have I ever trusted God like I'm about to trust my car. Have I ever "turned off the engine." Do I have faith in Him to come through. Do I have hope and conviction that he can start something in me that I cannot?

I'm gonna go turn off the engine now.

Traveling

2010-12-28T18:50:00.000-08:00

Everybody's traveling. It blows my mind the number of miles we put behind us. My 3 month old will soon make his 5th trip from KC to Chicago, 500 miles. The sad fact is that won't impress some people. We are all travelers. We travel for the holidays and for family. We travel for vacation, to get away, and then to come home when we've been away too long. Even those that hate it still travel. We say we are forced to do it. Forced by what though? Why are we all really traveling? We claim many reasons. But are we really forced?

Jonathon Edwards, the puritan pastor, would have a problem with my statement. He would say we are not forced to do anything. We choose it. We choose to see family, visit friends, reprioritize our lives to our own new expectations of ourselves. We choose our own tortures and then choose when we complain about them. He would say there is only one will at function in my life, and it cannot be divided. It is the choice that I make and nothing else. I wonder if in all this traveling I should not sit back and wonder who I'm traveling for. If it's my choice, what kind of a choice is it? Why do we travel? What does it tell me about my will and myself? What does it reveal about my values? Why am I traveling? Why are you traveling?

Gearing up for the New Year

2010-12-27T10:58:00.000-08:00

The year 2010 was a really tough year for our family. Things like totaling a car became petty nuisances compared to the weightier things of life. We attended three funerals that we did not expect going into the year. We had some shocking medical bills. We even had our house on the market for exactly 24 hours. But there were some awesome things as well. There was an unexpected move in our lives as I became the Teaching Pastor at Birchwood Church. Our oldest started kindergarten. We brought our fourth child into the world, a boy, now there are four sons, my poor wife. A new-to-me car, same year make and model but I liked the old one before someone decided to tackle it with their car at the corner of 39^th and Phelps, now a new-to-me car.

Now as we sit just days from closing out this year, we are all forced to look over the past and think on the things we want to and the things we don’t. The more we resist, the more we seem to engage in this self-evaluation. The good decisions and the bad, the fun times and the not fun, the parties and the lonely moments nobody else knows about, the fights and the make-ups, all of them now go on the shelf in our memory waiting to be dusted off later and laughed about. And isn’t it funny that we do always seem to laugh about them all. The worse the memory, the better story it makes.

As we approach 2011, at a time when we all consider the vows we will make for the New Year, repenting to ourselves, our families and friends, and even to God, I hope the humor we find in the past points out some hidden aspect of God’s work in our lives. Could it be that salvation is so wonderful, that the worse the memories, the more joy we will gain? Can God be so powerful as even to redeem our past? Can Joy really work its way backward through time. I hope so. I hope that this transition to a New Year brings you Joy and Hope and Blessings, but I hope even more that it brings you fondness for the way God has worked in your past, and is still working now. Who knows how we will look back?

Happy New Year!

1st Attempt

2010-12-06T15:52:00.000-08:00

We all try things more than once, but we'll just call this my first attempt at Birchwood blogging. It's the first attempt in this current format anyway. I fear spending time writing a blog no one wants to read. As well, the point here is community. I want this blog to be a place for Birchwood to respond as a community to what is happening in our community. So it's guided discussion. Sunday mornings have been wonderful interpreting the Bible together. I would love nothing more than for this site to be an extension of that time in our worship.