Humbled

John 13
18 “I am not referring to all of you; I know those I have chosen. But this is to fulfill this passage of Scripture: ‘He who shared my bread has turned against me.’ 19 “I am telling you now before it happens, so that when it does happen you will believe that I am who I am. 20 Very truly I tell you, whoever accepts anyone I send accepts me; and whoever accepts me accepts the one who sent me.” 21 After he had said this, Jesus was troubled in spirit and testified, “Very truly I tell you, one of you is going to betray me.” 22 His disciples stared at one another, at a loss to know which of them he meant. 23One of them, the disciple whom Jesus loved, was reclining next to him. 24Simon Peter motioned to this disciple and said, “Ask him which one he means.” 25 Leaning back against Jesus, he asked him, “Lord, who is it?” 26Jesus answered, “It is the one to whom I will give this piece of bread when I have dipped it in the dish.” Then, dipping the piece of bread, he gave it to Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot. 27 As soon as Judas took the bread, Satan entered into him. So Jesus told him, “What you are about to do, do quickly.” 28 But no one at the meal understood why Jesus said this to him. 29 Since Judas had charge of the money, some thought Jesus was telling him to buy what was needed for the festival, or to give something to the poor. 30 As soon as Judas had taken the bread, he went out. And it was night.

Scholars are baffled by this passage. More they are baffled by Judas. I think we are all baffled by Satan for the same reason. How can one so close to God, betray him? How can someone in the midst of the light, seek out darkness?

I was sitting at the corner of a busy intersection yesterday watching people go by. I usually watch the cars, but I was straining to see who was in the cars. Women, men, children in the back seat, undisclosed shapes behind tented windows. I did not see anyone I knew. Then I thought how God knows them all. It was very overwhelming, just thinking of the people at that intersection.

God knows us each and every one so well. He made us and he shaped us. He gives us good gifts of Joy and food and celebrations and Life (Acts14). And even in this story, as Judas is planning to betray Jesus, Jesus is serving him food and washing his feet. I am preaching this week on the surrounding context of Service, and Jesus’ example. Yet there is this passage in between that is so complicated. There is not enough time to dwell on Judas’ actions, or Satan’s actions, on Sunday. It is enough to look at Jesus’ example. I only have forty minutes or so. But how can they, being so close to Jesus Christ, God’s Son, Savior, Lord of Lords, King of Kings, The Light, choose to dwell in darkness?

I have always believed that faith would be easier if I met God face to face. Sure, I might not last on my feet for more than a few seconds. Sure, I might fall down and weep. Sure, no one in scripture is anything by humbled in front of God. But I have always assumed I would choose that humbling. But then I look at Judas, and I see that in the midst of God he was drawn to darkness. He chose to sell out, literally, and take the silver over the Son of God. The light shown on him, and he rejected it.

And I end on this. This week, did I take the silver too? Was I drawn to light, or did I sit in darkness? Where did my thoughts dwell? If it is so easy to believe when one is in the presence of God, did I seek out God’s presence in prayer and worship, or was I drawn in other directions? In the sermon, it’s going to be so easy to say “Look at Christ and his example of service”, but I am glad I don’t have to dwell on Judas. It is an unsavory deed, to look into the thoughts of human heart, of my human heart.

Romans 8:1-2 “There is, therefore, now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, for the Law of the Spirit of Life has set them free from the Law of Sin and of Death.”

I John 1:7 “If we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his son cleanses us from all sin.”